There are few things we can be sure of; change will always be part of the human experience, they say taxes will always be around and it sure seems that way and I am sure of a loving God who loves us and hears our prayers...
I went W A Y further into the deep just to say that changes are afoot!
It all began a month or so ago when I was working out consistently. I was changing up my workout and tryout out new classes. I really liked the core class that are offered three times a week at my gym so I was diligently attending. At one class I felt quite a bit of discomfort from some super large veins that you can see on my tummy. They showed up during my pregnancy 8 years ago and not being a medical student, I thought they were my main veins that joined up at the center of my body. I was also completely freaking out about a blood clot as a result of my C-section at that time and so I asked very few questions as it turned a new mom into an emotional mess. Anywhoo.. so I am working out and these veins are hurting me. I can feel the blood pulsing through them and it just didn't feel right. I just so happened to be on my way to my yearly visit to my obgyn and she noticed and we talked about my weight loss and the veins. She sent me to see a friend who was a vein specialist. He was a wonderful doctor who educated me about my blood clot, the veins and we discussed my options. He made mention that if I was going to have the excess skin removed from around my stomach, that the procedure would take care of the veins. What?! I had never even thought about having that done. It seemed too vain, too expensive too elusive. I had never been thin enough to consider it. Still it opened the "what if" in my mind. I went about finding a plastic surgeon who I could trust to give me feedback. My sweet husband patiently supported me as I am sure he saw my adventure lightening up our savings. I found an AMAZING surgeon-Dr. Steely. What did I like about him initially? Well, he looks like a Dad, someone who could be friends or colleagues with my husband. He didn't look like the greasy, cheesey overly airbrushed doctors you see advertised. Also, he gave consultations for free. Many doctors charge outrageous fees just to talk to them.
Long story short, I had abdomoplasty last Tuesday. I was nervous for sure but I knew it was the right thing for me. Is it expensive-uh yeah. It is painful- mmm YES. but today is day 4 of recovery and I feel great. The first two days were the only bad ones.
I will be going Monday to work for a while and also to a visit with Dr. Steely. I may have my drains out then or later in the week. I don't think that people will be able to tell a HUGE change-I covered my excess skin with big shirts. I know it will help me continue on with my fitness goals.
Going into surgery I weighed 185.5. This morning I weighed 175.5. Weight is not the only measure but it is nice to be below 180!!
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Friday, April 9, 2010
Losing the same 5 each week
Well... hello there. Why has it been so long? Well life and poor Internet can sometimes get in the way. I have been wanting to write-really I have. I have had many thoughts about my weight, its ups and its downs. I seem to gain and lose the same 5 pounds over and over and over again. For the fact that it is my new normal weight, I can celebrate but enough already! I saw a lady on Oprah and heard her again on the Oprah Sirius radio show who had lost 100 lbs and then gained it all back-that is frightening! I found this quote: You don't drown by falling in the water, you drown by staying in it. This is so true! I ate like I had never heard of a diet at Easter. We were with my family and although it was just one day, my hand was continually in the candy container and I ate whatever I wanted. When I returned back home, it was very challenging because the sugar and fat addict in me wanted to continue the food rampage. I felt angry at myself as I continued to eat things that are not good for me. It is a dangerous game, over eating and then re-losing the weight. To me it is like gambling, you might win a few times but in the end, you will walk away with empty pockets. I am at 183 today. A good weight-nothing wrong with it. I feel and look great. Sad that I have spent the whole week getting here. At my lowest I am at 180. Inevitably when I get there, I start to crave sugar. I begin to hear the whispers of bad advice swirl into my brain. I am determined to continue my quest for good health and a healthy body.
My sister is a tremendous inspiration. She is taller than I but shared that she is happily in the 160's. She runs every day and has completed a triathlon. Although I don't feel the need to compete athletically, I know that exercise needs to be a part of my life. I want it to feel like a natural part, like putting on socks or brushing teeth. Something to work on.
One last quote: "Your goals, minus your doubts, equal your reality." Ralph Marston
My sister is a tremendous inspiration. She is taller than I but shared that she is happily in the 160's. She runs every day and has completed a triathlon. Although I don't feel the need to compete athletically, I know that exercise needs to be a part of my life. I want it to feel like a natural part, like putting on socks or brushing teeth. Something to work on.
One last quote: "Your goals, minus your doubts, equal your reality." Ralph Marston
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Groundhog Day
So, 182.5 this morning and i am happy. I am trying to get off the poundage I gained over Spring Break. I have learned and confirmed that the scheduled life works best for me. Although work can bring stress to your life, it also brings structure. I could see how being self employed at home or retired would be difficult for me in this way of eating. I have two new recipes for the meeting tonight although we will not be there. We will be at the boys baseball game.
Speaking of the boy... he had lost quite a bit and then went back up. I am on a mission to get him back down so he can make weight for football. This is, of course, a secret only I know-I would never stress him about that.
Speaking of the boy... he had lost quite a bit and then went back up. I am on a mission to get him back down so he can make weight for football. This is, of course, a secret only I know-I would never stress him about that.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Nightmare: a situation resembling a terrifying dream.
I sometimes fear I am in one. This new way of eating has made it very easy to drop weight quickly. I sometimes think one day I will be like Violet Beauregarde in Willi Wonka who blows up like a blueberry or like the Nutty Professor. My biggest fear is putting the weight back on. You would think this would keep me from eating things I shouldn't but you would be wrong. Spring Break has not been easy. I have no one to blame but myself. I have made lots of sweets and eaten many things I shouldn't. Yesterday I weighed in the evening and had hit 188. I was truly panicked. By this morning I was at 185 but still... so sad considering I began Spring Break at 180. I am learning the lessons over again and again. I know that heaven for me will be to walk from bakery to bakery, eating every sweet and pastry I can. I am still trying to find the right mix for me here on earth.
I want to move forward to a weight that feels good. I know Dr. Kahlia will have many comments on that one. Somewhere between 170 and 150 is my just right weight and I want to get there without this one step forward and two back dance I am doing. So much of this is getting my mind made up. I am glad to be getting back to work tomorrow-the routine works best for me. Also, the exhaustion that comes with work. That sounds weird but being tired makes you go to bed and not stay up and snack.
I think I am rambling but those are my thoughts.
I sometimes fear I am in one. This new way of eating has made it very easy to drop weight quickly. I sometimes think one day I will be like Violet Beauregarde in Willi Wonka who blows up like a blueberry or like the Nutty Professor. My biggest fear is putting the weight back on. You would think this would keep me from eating things I shouldn't but you would be wrong. Spring Break has not been easy. I have no one to blame but myself. I have made lots of sweets and eaten many things I shouldn't. Yesterday I weighed in the evening and had hit 188. I was truly panicked. By this morning I was at 185 but still... so sad considering I began Spring Break at 180. I am learning the lessons over again and again. I know that heaven for me will be to walk from bakery to bakery, eating every sweet and pastry I can. I am still trying to find the right mix for me here on earth.
I want to move forward to a weight that feels good. I know Dr. Kahlia will have many comments on that one. Somewhere between 170 and 150 is my just right weight and I want to get there without this one step forward and two back dance I am doing. So much of this is getting my mind made up. I am glad to be getting back to work tomorrow-the routine works best for me. Also, the exhaustion that comes with work. That sounds weird but being tired makes you go to bed and not stay up and snack.
I think I am rambling but those are my thoughts.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Checking in.
So… what’s up?
We are in the midst of one of the coldest winters in recent memories. The end of February is just around the corner and everyone is hoping for springtime to arrive quickly. Me? My health? Well, I feel good but also yo-yoing. I go from 183 to 185 and back each week. I can hear Dr. Kalia telling me it is ok and that as long as I maintain, I am ok. On that front I am ok. I am happy with this weight and don’t mind resting here for a while. I just am certain that I am not going to stay here forever! I want to wear a large shirt comfortably and I want to wear a size 12 pants. I don’t know what that will look like in weight so we will see. I made a decision to stop working out three days a week. With my schedule, my husband’s schedule and then my son’s schedule, we were all feeling crazy and frantic. When I see if affecting my son, I have to make a change. I can still work out when I can fit it in, when there is a natural space. I can also not work out and be ok. I am sure that exercise will play a big role as I try to lose the last 20-30 pounds. Our eating is pretty good. This may be TMI (too much info) but when my system is eliminating food effectively, I am very happy. I had been focusing on getting in a lot more greens into my system. Now, I am just trying new recipes and trying to get excited about cooking. The desire to cook comes and goes in waves and I need to be excited about food (especially dinner) for me to be successful. Last night I made a new recipe- chicken satay with peanut sauce. It was yummy and will definitely be made again. I think a big key to success is taking the proteins, grains, veggies and fruits we can eat and try and create as many recipes as possible. Sometimes I have the creative juice, sometimes I don’t. I could see how this would be a huge obstacle for someone who doesn’t like to cook or follow recipes. I missed the support group last night to attend a school meeting-bummer. Oh well, I will be there next time.
We are in the midst of one of the coldest winters in recent memories. The end of February is just around the corner and everyone is hoping for springtime to arrive quickly. Me? My health? Well, I feel good but also yo-yoing. I go from 183 to 185 and back each week. I can hear Dr. Kalia telling me it is ok and that as long as I maintain, I am ok. On that front I am ok. I am happy with this weight and don’t mind resting here for a while. I just am certain that I am not going to stay here forever! I want to wear a large shirt comfortably and I want to wear a size 12 pants. I don’t know what that will look like in weight so we will see. I made a decision to stop working out three days a week. With my schedule, my husband’s schedule and then my son’s schedule, we were all feeling crazy and frantic. When I see if affecting my son, I have to make a change. I can still work out when I can fit it in, when there is a natural space. I can also not work out and be ok. I am sure that exercise will play a big role as I try to lose the last 20-30 pounds. Our eating is pretty good. This may be TMI (too much info) but when my system is eliminating food effectively, I am very happy. I had been focusing on getting in a lot more greens into my system. Now, I am just trying new recipes and trying to get excited about cooking. The desire to cook comes and goes in waves and I need to be excited about food (especially dinner) for me to be successful. Last night I made a new recipe- chicken satay with peanut sauce. It was yummy and will definitely be made again. I think a big key to success is taking the proteins, grains, veggies and fruits we can eat and try and create as many recipes as possible. Sometimes I have the creative juice, sometimes I don’t. I could see how this would be a huge obstacle for someone who doesn’t like to cook or follow recipes. I missed the support group last night to attend a school meeting-bummer. Oh well, I will be there next time.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
What a difference a year makes...
This is me in February of 2009. This is the me that I know best. I weighed 215-220 then.
This is me today. Almost February 2010. This is the new me. The new normal.. for now-I am still on the journey. I weighed 185 this morning.
Monday, January 25, 2010
More food
This weekend, I made the below mentioned tomato soup again at the request of my son. This time I was out of chicken stock but had some seafood so I used it and I loaded lots of tomatoes, celery, onions and just one carrot into the mix. It was scrumptious. I took advantage of the veggies all diced and sweating and took 1/2 cup of them when soft and made crab cakes. So so so good.
I took three heels from the Ezekiel bread and processed them up till fine. That went into a bowl with the veggies. I added a handful of fresh grated Parmesan, two eggs and mixed. Then i added a small container of crab claw meat from Whole Foods and a small portion of left-over rainbow trout. I formed four large patties. The were a bit too wet and didn't want to hold so I rolled them in a small amount of whole wheat bread crumbs. I placed them in a small cast iron skillet with olive oil spray and sprayed the tops of the cakes as well. Since I was making this up as I went along.. I placed them in a 350 oven and cooked them on both sides for 15 minutes. I then turned off the oven and left them in another 15 while I sat the table, ladled soup etc...
They were DELICIOUS. I only ate half as they were quite large and I ate a bowl of soup. The boy ate it all even with large pieces of veggies poking out. I told him they were soft from all of the cooking and that he wouldn't even know they were there. I then went on to tell him the soup had FIVE veggies in it and he loved it.
He tried to leverage that info. into no more veggies for the week since he had so many... I didn't buy it!
I wanted to share... this is a great way to use the Ezekiel bread outside of its normal use.
I took three heels from the Ezekiel bread and processed them up till fine. That went into a bowl with the veggies. I added a handful of fresh grated Parmesan, two eggs and mixed. Then i added a small container of crab claw meat from Whole Foods and a small portion of left-over rainbow trout. I formed four large patties. The were a bit too wet and didn't want to hold so I rolled them in a small amount of whole wheat bread crumbs. I placed them in a small cast iron skillet with olive oil spray and sprayed the tops of the cakes as well. Since I was making this up as I went along.. I placed them in a 350 oven and cooked them on both sides for 15 minutes. I then turned off the oven and left them in another 15 while I sat the table, ladled soup etc...
They were DELICIOUS. I only ate half as they were quite large and I ate a bowl of soup. The boy ate it all even with large pieces of veggies poking out. I told him they were soft from all of the cooking and that he wouldn't even know they were there. I then went on to tell him the soup had FIVE veggies in it and he loved it.
He tried to leverage that info. into no more veggies for the week since he had so many... I didn't buy it!
I wanted to share... this is a great way to use the Ezekiel bread outside of its normal use.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Recipe
I wanted to add a recipe that we have really liked. It is from Michael Chiarello who is a chef and is on Food Network.
1 (14 oz.) can chopped tomatoes
Olive Oil
Salt Pepper
Celery, diced
1 Carrot, diced
Onion. diced
Garlic, minced
1 cup chicken broth
1 Bay Leaf
Butter (optional)
1/4 cup chopped Basil
Preheat the oven to 450 degrees. Drain the tomatoes and reserve the juice. Spread the tomatoes on a cookies sheet and add salt and pepper to taste. Drizzle on olive oil lightly. Place into the oven and roast tomatoes for 15 minutes.
Meanwhile back on the stove top... add the onion, celery, carrot and garlic to a hot pan with a small amount of olive oil. I didn't put any amounts here because for us, adding in as much veg as possible is important. Do it to your taste. I did a half of an onion, one carrot, I didn't have any celery and I did one tooth of garlic. I will change it up next time. Turn the heat to med-low and saute for about 10 minutes. Add the remaining tomato juice from the can, the roasted tomatoes from the onion and all remaining ingredients except basil which you will add at the end. Simmer 10-15 minutes. If you have an immersion blender, use it. If you don't use a food processor or home blender. Add basil and serve.
My measure of success? My son has asked me to make it again-asking for a repeat on a vegetable? Now THAT is a good recipe!
Susan, Dr. K, feel free to suggest changes or additions.
1 (14 oz.) can chopped tomatoes
Olive Oil
Salt Pepper
Celery, diced
1 Carrot, diced
Onion. diced
Garlic, minced
1 cup chicken broth
1 Bay Leaf
Butter (optional)
1/4 cup chopped Basil
Preheat the oven to 450 degrees. Drain the tomatoes and reserve the juice. Spread the tomatoes on a cookies sheet and add salt and pepper to taste. Drizzle on olive oil lightly. Place into the oven and roast tomatoes for 15 minutes.
Meanwhile back on the stove top... add the onion, celery, carrot and garlic to a hot pan with a small amount of olive oil. I didn't put any amounts here because for us, adding in as much veg as possible is important. Do it to your taste. I did a half of an onion, one carrot, I didn't have any celery and I did one tooth of garlic. I will change it up next time. Turn the heat to med-low and saute for about 10 minutes. Add the remaining tomato juice from the can, the roasted tomatoes from the onion and all remaining ingredients except basil which you will add at the end. Simmer 10-15 minutes. If you have an immersion blender, use it. If you don't use a food processor or home blender. Add basil and serve.
My measure of success? My son has asked me to make it again-asking for a repeat on a vegetable? Now THAT is a good recipe!
Susan, Dr. K, feel free to suggest changes or additions.
1-7-0 be your own hero
No, that is not my weight, but that is my goal. This morning I weighed 188. I am happy -for sure- about that but I feel that my body has be hovering for a few days and I am pulling up my big girl pants and getting a move on! No more dilly dallying for me.
I attended the support group last night and I am so grateful for such genuine people. You could feel the raw emotions and how really there everyone was for each other.
I attended the support group last night and I am so grateful for such genuine people. You could feel the raw emotions and how really there everyone was for each other.
Something new I learned last night-at least one meal a day-the vegtables need to be the star of the show. This will be new for me. I see a lot more salads in my future!
Tonight I will be going to the Team Weight Loss group at my gym (Lifetime Fitness). I call this group the fat club. Easier, shorter and I can remember it. We meet three times a week. Mondays are 30 minutes, Wednesdays are 45 and Fridays are an hour. We primarily work out on the treadmill and we SWEAT. I am too easy on myself when I do it alone. Have a great week-it is half over!
Thursday, January 7, 2010
the best number evahhh
I am at 190.5 today!!!! Can you hear me? I am shouting it from the rooftops-190.5.... 190.5!!
I have been hovering at 192 for a few days and yes... I am spoiled-I expect that dial to move!! Every day if possible.
I was a little worried yesterday and wondered if I had the stamina to stick with it if I stayed at 192 for a week, a month, a year. That will happen and happen more that once or twice I am sure. You can't realistically expect to never be on a plateau as you drop from 200+ to 150 or so. The scale is sometimes our major measure of success so perhaps thinking of other ways to measure success will be important-I think Susan even talked about this at one of our meetings.
I told myself that even though the needle wasn't moving I was grateful to be where I was and that since I had given away all of my old clothes I really don't have a choice about going back to old habits and that even at 192, I feel happy; my knees don't hurt all the time, I have more energy and I am in tune with myself.
I have been hovering at 192 for a few days and yes... I am spoiled-I expect that dial to move!! Every day if possible.
I was a little worried yesterday and wondered if I had the stamina to stick with it if I stayed at 192 for a week, a month, a year. That will happen and happen more that once or twice I am sure. You can't realistically expect to never be on a plateau as you drop from 200+ to 150 or so. The scale is sometimes our major measure of success so perhaps thinking of other ways to measure success will be important-I think Susan even talked about this at one of our meetings.
I told myself that even though the needle wasn't moving I was grateful to be where I was and that since I had given away all of my old clothes I really don't have a choice about going back to old habits and that even at 192, I feel happy; my knees don't hurt all the time, I have more energy and I am in tune with myself.
Friday, January 1, 2010
Looking back, looking forward
Happy 2010!!
When I last posted, we were heading towards Christmas and the vacation that comes with it. We went on our cruise. I was at 194 when we left. My dear husband brought along our digital scale-this was major as all of our Christmas bags (including Santa) came as well. We had 4 bags-crazy. Anyway... I was so thrilled that on the second day I was at 193!! Wow-so amazing. My best friend, her kiddos and my in-laws were with us for the trip. I was so grateful for my friend on the trip, we worked out almost every day. It was challenging to weigh as the trip wore on, the water rocked the boat and made the reading rocky (inconsistent). I did like having a frame of reference though. I wasn't perfect-who is? I ate many desserts and fried foods. I was up a bit when I came home but am happy to report that today I am at 192! Things are going great. We just completed time at my parents house and we were able to do that as well without too many challenges.
I have made my New Year's resolution to give up white sugar for one year. I know I may not be able to give it up for forever but one year seems manageable and something I can prove to myself. Over our cruise my friend said several times.. "You have so much willpower!" That was something I don't think anyone has ever said to me. I didn't feel like I was exercising much willpower, I just knew how much I love being below 200 and how thrilled I am to be forced to get new clothes because my existing closes are too big-a first!
Today, I completed the cleaning out of my closet. I took an enormous amount of clothes to the Goodwill. I did panic a bit after dropping them off. What if I gain the weight back? I had to take some deep breaths.
My husband and I have many nicknames we have created for each other over the years. He has a new one for me that I just love-skinny.
LOVE IT
When I last posted, we were heading towards Christmas and the vacation that comes with it. We went on our cruise. I was at 194 when we left. My dear husband brought along our digital scale-this was major as all of our Christmas bags (including Santa) came as well. We had 4 bags-crazy. Anyway... I was so thrilled that on the second day I was at 193!! Wow-so amazing. My best friend, her kiddos and my in-laws were with us for the trip. I was so grateful for my friend on the trip, we worked out almost every day. It was challenging to weigh as the trip wore on, the water rocked the boat and made the reading rocky (inconsistent). I did like having a frame of reference though. I wasn't perfect-who is? I ate many desserts and fried foods. I was up a bit when I came home but am happy to report that today I am at 192! Things are going great. We just completed time at my parents house and we were able to do that as well without too many challenges.
I have made my New Year's resolution to give up white sugar for one year. I know I may not be able to give it up for forever but one year seems manageable and something I can prove to myself. Over our cruise my friend said several times.. "You have so much willpower!" That was something I don't think anyone has ever said to me. I didn't feel like I was exercising much willpower, I just knew how much I love being below 200 and how thrilled I am to be forced to get new clothes because my existing closes are too big-a first!
Today, I completed the cleaning out of my closet. I took an enormous amount of clothes to the Goodwill. I did panic a bit after dropping them off. What if I gain the weight back? I had to take some deep breaths.
My husband and I have many nicknames we have created for each other over the years. He has a new one for me that I just love-skinny.
LOVE IT
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