Just returning home from attending a support meeting with the Bluebonnet Group in Clear Lake. I am so grateful that I went tonight and also that Susan and Dr. Kalia are such thoughtful listeners. The support group is made up some very intelligent and kind people who all want to have healthier bodies. As I walked into the house tonight, I was thinking that in some ways I feel like I have stepped into a dream and I hope it never ends. I know that this is the right time combined with the right way of eating-the stars seem aligned for success.
I made a public commitment tonight and so I will record it here. Goals that are written and spoken become successes. I committed to giving up any sweet (cookie, cake, pie or ice cream-any dessert made with refined white sugar) for one year beginning on New Year's Day. I just told my sweet husband and he responded that the goal seems too tough. I am determined. It was an epiphany on my way home. I have been talking about giving up sugar for forever and that just seemed too sad to even consider. But for a year? That is not forever. I can do that.

I the Husband.....Dec. 14, 2009

Last blog weight was 358 and today is 354.
I thought at one point recently that I would love to have 350 as my goal weight before Christmas week. I think that would represent a loss of 30 lbs from the beginning. Did not think I could lose that much in a couple of weeks when I was 362; but now it seems not only as a possible goal but even likely. The new clothes I purchased on Black Friday after Thanksgiving were tight in anticipation of the "body to come". Started wearing them now and they are already fitting me just right. Really starting to find that all of my old clothes are noticeably baggy. I feel so much more comfortable at work all day in clothes that have room to spare.
Eating is going well. Still focusing on drinking lots of water all day long.
Had some good experience this past week of moving my freestyle meals to match activities going on in my life.
Looking forward to the long week off for Christmas and the relaxing fun cruise we are taking with family. Have discussed plans for staying on program during the trip with the wife. First time in my life that I did not feel stressed about how to stay on target during a holiday trip. I feel completely confident. Maybe I should not be so confident? I see the upcoming cruise eating as simply eating at a resteraunt every day. Having the experiences over the last two months of eating good while at a resteraunt is going to help. I know you can order from the menu choices and ask for things to be prepared differently to align with the program. Gone are the days I let myself feel trapped by a menu and don't want to "bother" asking for a special preparation or substitution.
I think main meals will be easy. I'm thinking that snacks may be more of a challenge. Have talked about what we could bring with us for snacks. Certainly don't want to be snacking on ice cream on the lido deck! Or downing drinks by the pool. Anytime dining on this ship should allow for walking in a dining room and ordering even just a snack when its time. Like some drinks but not a regular drinker so even on a cruise this will not be a temptation or problem for me. In fact I have become so addicted to water with lemon that I can already feel myself laying on deck with the ocean in front of me and i'm thirsty for my water and lemon!

This whole trip could be more of a challenge for the kid. He will probably be in the kid's program allot. He loves any type of social club with other kids. I can just imagine they will have ice cream breaks etc. We always talk to him before situations that we know will be a challenge to make good decisions; but he is a young child and I know its tough. I'm pleasantly surprised how many times he does make a healthy choice or at least shows effort to make a better / modified choice.

Wife and I have talked about her going to the group meeting tonight. I am interested to hear the group advice on taking the cruise next week; suggestions and thoughts on having "happiness" all week and not so much "pleasure".

The real scoop... and poop?

Sharing means really sharing... right?
I think I need to begin to chart my weight loss by the month. I think I might see a pattern. Right before I started my period, I had POWERFUL cravings for sweets. I indulged on my free day. This is one step down the wrong path. My period began last Wednesday and I have eaten one kind of sweet or another almost every day. This is bad-real bad. I am trying to get off sugar but it is HARD. I have written before that sugar is like alcohol to and alcoholic or cocaine to anyone but for real-it is addictive for me. If I indulge once-I am hooked. If I buy something sweet from the store and bring it home or bake something sweet, I won't stop until it is all gone-regardless of how much that may mean that I will eat. I was worried tonight after eating a few dark chocolate cookies but after throwing up (stomach acid + bypass + poor nutrition ='s vomit) I am at 198. At my lowest, I have been at 196. We are leaving on a cruise in 2 weeks and I want to do as much good as I can for my body before then as possible. I am determined to re-give up sugar this week and renew myself. It is devastating to think I can never eat sugar again-I love it so... It is also sad to think that I don't have better control.
On to other... more stinky subjects. For a bypass patient, poop can be a sore subject-literally. Without careful nutrition, one can become impacted very easily. Before surgery I would "go" almost every day. I know this might sound weird but I miss that. It felt strangely cleansing to me-like my body was effectively handling my food intake. Now, if I "go" once a week, I celebrate. I know some people get very worked up about this bodily function, take pills, feel pain-that is not me. I just go with the flow. I try to drink lots of water to help (painful process if not!).
I may get in trouble but my sweetie has the opposite problem-he has IBS and a day he doesn't have to go is a celebration! Funny how everyone is different. Our new way of eating has made a HUGE difference in this area for him.
Anywhoo random thoughts-I share this for my doctor and nutritionist-the more whole the picture, the easier to treat.

I the Husband.......12/6/09

Last blog weight was 365; now current weight is 358. Was very interested to see my weight today.
Had the situation where friends had invited me for some live music at a local bar. My intentions were not to eat there because I had been before and knew there were not allot of good options. Did know that I would probably have a few beers; last time I did not. The plan was to eat before I left the house but that did not work out. So did eat a hamburger with onion rings. Good news is I ate half the burger and was so full it was not even an option to try the second half either physically or mentally. Probably the first time in my life I let that big of a burger go back to the kitchen for the dumpster. Substituted the onion rings for the fries, let's hope that helped. I prefer onions anyway. Had several beers; one of those places with lots of beers on tap. Its an english pub type place. Sunday was also a challenge. Had committed to taking lunch to a friend who had recently had major surgery. Wanted to take something more healthy but they are not on a program and figured their kids would turn their nose up at anything healthy. Also again ran out of time coming right out of church and rushing to get on the othe side of town for lunch with the goods. So ate a couple bites of pizza.
Was worried about the effect of these two days. I had dropped back to 362 a few days ago.
Unless its going to take longer to see the effect on my weight, looks like I have continued to lose.

The son did well and lost another pound over the weekend. He is now at 145.

I the Husband.....Part 2

So the previous post was about successes. Wanted to add comments on my challenges.
Its a journey I am sure; discovering what works and does not work I have to admit is sort of fun and keeps you focused. We have acknowledged that freestyling is a challenge because we do not do it correctly. So we listened to Dr. Kalia and Susan at the group meeting and really understood for the first time what freestyling really is suppose to be. We started freestyling by making the meal or the day a free for all, all day. Now as we see the result from the food fest; it disappoints when you step on the scale and gain rather than lose. Then you think was it worth it? So this past Sunday we had a much better freestyling. A sensible meal as best you can then add something you really like. For the first time I saw no weight gain after the Sunday freestyling.
I remember Dr. Kalia sharing that you may love pizza but its not a good freestyle food because its also a trigger food that encourages to eat more. So even with this advice my son and I wanted pizza at the first freestyling and had it. Then we moved on and next time wanted honey barbeque chicken wings. Our favorite food for the Sunday Texan's football game. Again a trigger food. This week first of all I am not even feeling like a freestyle meal on Thursday. The desire to eat healthy all week and see good results is stronger than the craving for any of my favorite foods. By Sunday I can only imagine myself eating a hamburger and onion rings. Not a trigger food and maybe even try a type of bun other than white bread. Freestyling remains a challenge but I can see it getting better and better as we go along.

Second challenge for me pesonally is hunger pains and mental hunger about 2 hours after dinner. Let me admit fully that I know my worst habit ever is the "grazing" after dinner to relieve stress and relax from the day that I had really worked into a big bad habit the last two years of my life. So now I restrain from the desire to eat after dinner; however I notice now I actually get real hunger pains. So just about since the beginning I have been eating a snack about 2 hours after eating dinner. My goal has been to make it a healthier snack. My future goal is to reduce the snack smaller and smaller until maybe eliminating it all together. The best snack that seems to stop the hunger pains quickly and taste good and satisfying is either trisquits or Doctor Kracker with humus. I like to add lemon juice, splash of olive oil and sea salt to the humus. I know that sounds like a lot of stuff being added to the humus but it is SO satisfying to me. Instantly pleases the taste buds and satisfies and then the grainy hard crackers quickly fills up and adds the crunchy chewing that also makes me feel full. So not sure if there is a better solution or better foods to be snacking on; will be interesting to see if the weight loss continues even with the later snack. Mentioned in a previous blog that our goal was to hit the bed earlier to perhaps avoid the snack. However this has been just about impossible with the schedule. I'm usually up later either working, conversing with the wife on the day; or just simply trying to relax and do something for myself that is entertaining.

One last note; for the first few weeks I was drinking lots of water. Even Crystal light at times. Lots of weight loss. The last two weeks I just realized have not drank as much water. In fact allot less water because of the sickness and then because I was away from home. Just a bigger pain to cut lemons and fix a glass of water. Even was busier at work with all day meetings one day after another which didn't allow me a break to grab some water. Starting to notice that for my body and for me; water could be a big key for weight loss. Just get this feeling that this big ole body of mine really uses and needs water to flush the calories and food out. I just felt a difference. Going to really focus on drinking lots of water over the next week or so and see what happens.

I the Husband.....

So last report was 362 and tonight 365. So here is what has happened over the last couple of weeks. So forgot to take my IBS medicine a Tuesday morning, better known by me as "the Sand". It literally will not dissolve in anything but apple sauce. So felt okay all day and by nightfall I was starting to feel the nausea and discomfort. By midnight it was in full explosion; immediately I remember last month when the same thing happened and I ended up in the ER with no vision, sweat drenching my shirt and blood pressure of 50/13. Was told by the doctor to eat chicken soup and pedialyte only for 3 days. He also increased the Lomitrol from 2 pills to 6 a day if needed. Well eating soup for me has always been like not eating at all. I honestly think soup increases my appetite. All I can think while eating soup is I'm eating water and how deprived I am going to feel afterwards. So anyway; initially because of the diarrhea and horrible stomach pains that accompany IBS, I dropped to 355 in those first few days. By the time things were getting better on Sunday I had gone back up to 368. Then came Turkey Day! Because work is slow and being the Finance guy and I made the entire company take all their vacation time so the company could accrue less expenses at end of the year; I myself had just about the entire Thanksgiving week off. So out of my routine. Good news is I maintained the weight and did not go up. We did our best during the time at the inlaws. Breakfast was easy. Closed my eyes and told myself it was a mirage I was smelling; it was not really hot bisquits, pork sausage patties with butter and jelly. So like the wife said, we watched what food was presented for everyone else and tried to add better choices for our family. The main Thanksgiving lunch came. I served my plate with turkey first; tried to put more turkey than a normal portion thinking that if I filled up eating more turkey that was better than eating other stuff that was less healthy. So I passed on the cream corn; although the entire family is from the "country" and were literally moaning and bragging on how good the corn was. Passing the corn around time after time insisting everyone have some of that good corn. This was my biggest success over Thanksgiving; not only was Mechiel's family loving and bragging on the corn but I am from a cajun family who also loves corn although they cook it completely different. All I could think as I looked into the bowl bright yellow gook, was BAD CORN! BAD CORN!
However I did serve myself dressing and cranberry sauce. It was really good. I avoided the ham at this meal. I resisted the white flour yeast rolls for almost the entire meal. At the last minute I grabbed one and enjoyed it. It got harder the second and third day to stay away from the ham and other choices. So I lost an extreme amount of weight during the four days or so I was sick then put that same weight and a little more back on. During Thanksgiving things stabilized which I consider a success. Now back home after Thanksgiving and back into the routine, the weight has come down from Sunday of 368 to 365. Okay even more success here is after two major hurdles; 1.) getting that sickness and having to eat differently; 2.) a holiday away from home surrounded by others eating the bad choices; the minute I got back home we got back into the better routine without hesitation, not begrundingly; but the wife and I both anxious to get back on the program; there was not the usual fat devil sitting on your shoulder telling me to give up; you had a few bad days or weeks; give up and give in to the old ways of eating. There was never a doubt we would be back on a tight program and looking forward to doing what was right and shunning the bad habits and less healthy eating. That is a true miracle and huge success for an overweight person. The ease with which an obese person gives up on the program and themselves is scary. We have no history of success, we have no real faith in our abilities to stick and be strong; and as a result we overwhelmed and incapable of getting back on track. Not any more, this program gives you quick, simple success and is just as simple and easy to get back on after a holiday or sickness as examples.

It really works

I go through cycles of LOVING cooking, preparing, chopping and then maybe a week, week and a half of losing the loving feeling. I am back to loving it. Funny how well it works. I am at 196.5 this morning! Yeah. The boy weighed last night and is down 2 pounds from the 1st of December.